25 Ways To Recognize A Wack Ass Rapper

How to recognize a wack ass rapperIf someone ever asks you what makes a wack ass rapper, more than likely that individual has never been schooled by the culture of Hip Hop from any generation. That person probably was spoon fed crappy rap videos, gossip magazines,  and brainwashed by Viacom or Clear Channel broadcasts. That same person probably never watched the movie Wild Style, heard of the Bridge Wars rivalry, visualized  “put seven emcees in a line”,  or could name at least one Grandmaster. What will you tell them? What are the characteristics? How will they ever know? Hell, that person who may ask you could be a wack ass rapper, too!

Well, just to make your life easier from those of us who have had this talk before with new kids coming up in Hip Hop, here is a list of 25 ways to recognize a wack ass rapper.

  1. Limited Subject Matter. Says the same crap all the time. Very predictable and cliche’.
  2. No consciousness, spirit, or heart. No soul. Always hollow and shallow content. Non-challenging lyrics. No creativity or display of wit. Relies on punchlines.
  3. No conviction in delivery or in lyrics. Just mumbles or speaks rhymes with no personal connection to what is being said.
  4. Never crafts lyrics or flow to create his own identity. Sounds run of the mill due to lack of experimentation; ABC – 123 – nursery rhymes.
  5. Limited vocabulary. Poor diction, thereby limited power of communication. Low grade reading level.
  6. Never writes lyrics to a beat or rhythm. Rhyme flow is offbeat, forced, and even sounds uncomfortable. Sloppy. May imitate another person’s flow.
  7. Never creates own lyrics at all due to having a ghost writer or bites rhymes from others.
  8. Punches in non-premeditated lyrics line for line in the recording studio; meanwhile brags that the rhymes flow off the dome as a freestyle.
  9. Does not acknowledge the other elemental pillars of the Hip Hop culture. Never participates or affiliates with the real cultural community.
  10. Never involves or affiliates a DJ in the studio or on a live set. Music often sounds non-DJ friendly.
  11. Unable to rock a mic with a live DJ back-spinning, cutting, and phasing. No skill to improvise the rhyme flow on live break beats. Pre-recorded music.
  12. No history of the Hip Hop culture, its roots and inspirations. Never a student. No backbone and always frontin’.
  13. Only makes lyrics and songs for image out of self delusion and false marketing. A liar.
  14. No transparency, integrity, substance, or character as an artist. Impersonal. Always a surface level personality.
  15. Never without a hype man or entourage. Never big enough alone or able to sync and flow with other MCs as a crew.
  16. Sells ghetto-hood fantasies to the mainstream and calls it keepin’ it real but neglects the original core audience and the streets. A walking stereotype. Mainstream dedicated and main street exaggerated. Too concerned with Pop culture and media attention.
  17. A fat headed megalomaniac. Always needs reassurance due to lack of character. Needs media attention and  coddling. Arrogant; selfish; glam chaser; a Diva complex.
  18. Always dodges real battling, and deflects by relating battling towards recording sales, popularity contests, awards, and Billboard chart rankings. Only has the courage to diss someone on YouTube, a blog, or to the media. Never battles lyric for lyric; style for style (i.e. Bridge Wars, LL and Moe Dee, Nas and Jay Z) because they really do not have any skills at all. They know if they tried they will lose in sales due to a deflated false image. Not thick skinned.
  19. Often disrespects and exploits women. A redundant misogynist image.
  20. Disrespectful to the hood, streets, and ghetto by exploiting it. Disrespectful to the hard working, common people who are from these places.
  21. Fake, piss-poor imitation of a true MC, lyricist, and rap artist. Just fast food compared to a home cooked meal.
  22. Studio puppet. Marketing token. Corporate clone. RIAA house slave. Committed to the Recording Industry and not the Music Industry. Never about artistry or craft. Follows Recording Industry trends as they happen like Auto-Tune.
  23. All about the money, material possessions, trendiness, and glamour. Never about the Hip Hop culture and its people.
  24. No talent. Just a good used car salesman pitching a Bentley with a Yugo engine. The Bob Vila of Bull Crap.
  25. And finally, the last characteristic of a Sucker MC (aka Wack Ass Rapper) is…They will read this list, or any other  debate or criticism and get offended like a little school girl. Always defensive with those cute little cliche’s like “y’all just haters” or “you are jealous.” Even going as far as “you are old” or “played out.” And my favorite is “we are the new Hip Hop” and “we are today’s Golden Age.”

Yes they are; The Golden Age of sellouts and clones in a Wall Street chain-gang groomed by the blood sucking corporate machine.

Well there you have it. Feel free to add more to this list. I smell number 26 brewing out there some where.

There's A God On The Mic - Kool Moe Dee

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